Three young people cross a road. They are going from Fat Bellies to Rodeo Rodeo.
Rodeo has been around for a while now, so it has carved out its niche and to be honest it’s not very studenty. I don’t just mean typically student, but even with the wide variety of tastes across the student population I don’t think very many people will be into this. We are still covering the place because we went there, and Emma made some more funny notes: 

• Lots of old people 
• Bouncers - tight shirts 
• wanker stance 
• Dickhead in cowboy hat bordering on sexual harassment case 
• He is also extremely ugly 
• Freakishly tall men 
• Theme is somewhat homosexual 
• no lemon with tequila

Rodeo is very small, so is often very packed. Packed to the point where it’s a lot of people standing up next to each other, with a few tiny gaps around some people who are moving slightly to the music. You can hear a lot of Johnny Cash and Bruce Springsteen in there, and while that doesn’t sum up the music 100% it describes its target pretty well. I’m trying to describe this place neutrally but it’s very difficult because I am under thirty. It clearly appeals to people who are a bit over the club thing, or don’t want to look like the dirty old men on a dancefloor. Instead it’s just all of those people packed into one place, but hey they look like they were enjoying themselves. Girls, if you’re interested, a student friend of mine told me once she met a guy in there and he bought her a new dress and ear-rings and took her out for dinner over the space of a couple of weeks and she only had to sleep with him a couple of times. So you could say the place is a good goldmine, if you don’t mind doing a bit of digging. Anyway, we stayed as long as took to write a few notes and do some tequila, and then we exercised our democratic right to leave, just as we heard someone at the bar say “That was the fruitiest cocktail I’ve had all month!” I approached the bar and asked for their fruitiest drink. I tried it, and while I was analysing the fruitiness I passed it around to Emma and Cam. We all agreed it was the fruitiest drink we’d had all month.

The notebook says that the next place we went to was The Bank Bar & Brasserie. The Bank has been known as the old school nightclub in the past, but in the two years since we did the last bar reviews the Hamilton hospo scene has changed considerably, with a surge in the number of bars going for that slightly older and classier crowd. It’s still by far the biggest venue outside the Outback/Bahama Hut/Bar101 circuit though, with a big long bar and sizeable dancefloor. During the day it is one of the regions top casual restaurants, but obviously the review was focussed on the bar side of things. The building itself is iconic; it’s that first big white building you see on the corner of Hood and Vic. We stumbled in to check it out, and find out where it fits into the new scene. The bar is right ahead of the door, so we ordered a few drinks and got to reviewing. The first thing that became apparent from looking around is the spread of clientele. The dance-floor was made up of mostly the student age-group pumping away to some charts music, but there was still that sprinkling of slightly older women that The Bank has been known for. You know; the hot ones. A couple of the leaners further into the bar were surrounded by older guys downing pints, and it looked like there were tables of smokers out in the garden bar but I couldn’t see that far very well. Service has always been a huge distinction point at The Bank: our drinks came quickly and professionally. A point we made in the last bar review about the bouncers received a lot of questions from people, but I’ll stick by it and point out the door and security team are unnervingly friendly. Maybe it’s a throwback to the old chestnut of “Speak softly and carry a big stick” but the guys in red out front are always courteous and relaxed, and there’s surprisingly little trouble. Dan the manager was laying down some beats in the DJ booth while we were there so I ducked in and asked him some questions after making a psychedelic trip across the dancefloor. I’ll just mention here that the dancefloor has seen a huge facelift in the last couple of weeks, so it’s worth checking it out just to see if you like it. Better lighting racks, lasers, and a screen on one wall showing the videos or other visuals has really energised the whole place, at least on the night that we were in, so the pace is a lot faster, which better suits the current nightclub trends Don’t forget that there’s a respectable dress code, so if you like scrubbing up and going somewhere a bit nicer, give it a shot. If you don’t like it, you can always exercise your democratic right to leave.

We had previously reviewed Furnace, but on an earlier night, because we decided that while it very much fits the category of a bar, its niche is quite different from any of the other places around. Also, their pizzas are the best which is a perfect excuse to go there. While they open late, Furnace has a great atmosphere that can best be described as a really late evening drinking environment. Kind of if you were to capture that hour where after-work drinks progress into clubbing. There’s a dancefloor and some funky music, but it never gets too heavy, and the real attraction is sitting down and drinking in a really classy bar environment. The booths, leaners couches and tables are all inviting and comfortable and there’s a really social vibe in the area in front of the bar. Furnace also has some top staff and service, and overall makes a great place to kick off your night or wind up your evening.

If it seems that the last few paragraphs contained a lot less hilarious witticisms and a lot more desperate attempts to remember what happened, well I regret to inform you that it actually started happening way up the near the start of the article. I know that we went to check out Kremlin, but after finding it closed we went to Bar 101 even though we already knew that it was awesome. In the off-chance that you haven’t been there yet, Bar 101 is Hamilton’s only student bar, and by that I mean that they don’t just cater to young folks, but to the people with those magical little red (blue if you’re a Tech student – Ed) ID cards in their wallets. That’s you! The place has really taken off since it’s opened and a lot of the student crowd has gotten behind it, and it is a really nice place. Every time I’ve been in, including this night, the bar was filled with some really cool people, dressed well, having fun, and partying hard. It’s really good to see something like this in Hamilton, and while places like Outback and Bahama Hut do a great job catering to the young’uns, the focus on people who are studying does add that extra something. I interviewed barman extraordinaire Gordy, and I’m really sorry mate but I can hardly remember a thing and my notes frighten me. What I will do instead is remind all you lovely ladies that Gordy will take care of you on the bar like no other, just tell him that Nexus sent you. Cam told me the other day that we actually went to Pie Lab, and I have very vague memories of this but he assured me it was great and I had a great chat to a guy who was working there. Sure enough some of my notes mention Pie Lab with notes like “Dance Oriented, High Energy, Short Playlist, Whatever gets you pumping, $3 shots”. This sounds good so everybody go there. Then again, some of my notes also appear to say “I love your face”, “unsaeanmeny”, and “carnival hat liqueur”. Check out the scans of some of the pages, since our photography leaves something to be desired.

Apparently, Cam and I decided to review Firecats. I can’t remember much except when I went to pay for a lap dance, the guy told me that my card declined so I have him a handful of shrapnel from my pocket (at least $15 worth) and told him to try again. Everything went fine, but the next morning I checked my account and I’d been charged twice, for the full amount. Also, I overhead some girl telling her friend that her drink was the fruitiest drink she’d had all year. Slurring, I asked the girl at the bar for her fruitiest drink. She made it, and I took a taste. While I was analysing its fruitiness I split some of it on the floor, and we all agreed that it wasn’t very fruity.

To the places we haven’t been yet; you’re next! And finally, many thanks to everybody who accommodated us and took the time out to chat with us, we know you are all very busy. To hospo workers everywhere, whenever I think about who I respect the most, you are right there, serving me alcohol.