So, you’ve obviously decided to come to university and get your learn on. Actually, scratch that: I don’t know why you’ve come exactly. Maybe a girl you’ve had a crush on all of your life has come to uni and you don’t want to give up on your futile dreams yet. Maybe your parents have demanded you go to uni because they never got the chance when they were young. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re here because there are still no jobs in the outside world. There’s also the party culture and the chances of constant, amazing sex with strangers you meet in Hamilton’s many pubs that may have drawn you to university.

I’m not going to bother telling you that university is the only way to get ahead in life, because they most likely told you that every day through high school. A lot of super rich, crazy-successful people in the world never went to university. Most of the world’s population probably don’t even finish high school. University isn’t the be all and end all of life. You might get a degree in economics and end up being a high school gym teacher. University is, however, a learning experience, whether you go to classes or not.

You’ll learn to be OK with old people. You’re going to be in classes with people who are old enough to be your parents. It might seem a little weird at first, but then you realise how brave these people are for coming back to university despite being very old. You may find yourself sitting next to a World War 2 veteran. Probably not, but you never know. University won’t discriminate against you for being young and stupid, so why should it discriminate against those people for being old and stupid? On the upside, if you’re doing history, buy one of your older classmates a few glasses of Merlot and get all the information you’ll ever need.

You’ll learn to be tolerant of foreigners. There will be accents, languages and customs which you have never heard or experienced before. Exchange students are all over the show, from the United States, South America and Europe and they are almost all keen to meet new people. Some of them will be making new friends to practice their English on and you can bet they want to learn the best swear words our language has to offer. Start them off slowly, maybe with “son of a bitch” or “asshole”. Don’t drop the C-Bomb straight away though. You have to work them into that one.

You’ll learn to be OK with people believing in stuff you don’t believe in. There will be religion everywhere, especially on clubs days and during O-Week, some of it quietly doing slow-motion martial arts on the lawn, some of it jumping into your face and screaming at you about Jesus. Maybe you’ll find God and maybe He’ll find you. Maybe you’ll find a nice piece of grass and do slow motion karate. Maybe God thinks you’re a dick head.

So, even if you choose to not go to any classes (and every year people totally do that), you’re going to get an education. You’ll discover out how much drinking is too much drinking and then attempt to increase that limit. You’ll find exactly what type of people you’re attracted to, especially if you’re in the student halls, and then you’ll figure out the best way to attract their attention. You’ll also figure out how little sleep you can survive on when you suddenly realise that you’ve got five or six assignments due at the end of the week which you haven’t started and you’ve just found the love of your life and they’re a nymphomaniac.

From the team at Nexus, enjoy your time at Waikato, whether you’re here to learn or to party, because you will miss it when it’s over.